Chit Chat & 043 Enquirer News Article

Good Morning Ted and Jody:
I put the mailing label for you to return the stuff Nancy ordered for you while you were here in the mail this morning.
At the end of Reagan’s Presidency, I commented that the US functioned without a president. I hope I can say at the end of the pestilence’s tenure that the US functioned despite a president.
I had been looking forward to Comey’s testimony tomorrow, but since it has all been leaked, I guess I will wait to hear the summaries for anything that wasn’t leaked on the speculation programs present when I ride the stationary bike.
I still do not get why the whole Republican establishment is not demanding a full investigation of the Russian hacks of the election.
A final political question, “Is anything of policy substance being discussed in Washington DC?”
Since it is not going to rain until tomorrow; and, yesterday was in the high 80s and today will be in the 80s. I watered before the sun got to shine on our little plot of ground so the plants do not die of sunstroke, heat exhaustion, dehydration and berry berry today. While I was watering I came up with all sorts of things to write about in a letter, but somehow thy are all gone once I get in the house and take the hat off that I wear to keep the sun, errant drops of water and bird dropping off my head. I have concluded there is a hole in my head at the top where ideas escape. I do remember that the apples look great at a quarter of an inch in diameter and need to be sprayed with thistle water again and again and again or more. I wonder if I can store the thistle water.
Fred the mechanic picked up the Aztec on Friday and we stopped there Monday. He had it done except he recommended we have the rear brake drums replaced. So, we agreed and he called yesterday and we picked it up. Liz, Nancy’s daughter will be flying in Thursday night to drive it back to Michigan on Friday morning with a friend. When Fred does a job he does it right and he never adds things that don’t need to be done. I got lucky when some folks here referred me to him six years ago.
I trust this finds you happy, healthy, wealthy and wise.
Warmest regards, Ed

043 Enquirer News Article
Fiction in 661 words by T. Edward Westen, 2017

BLACKBEARD TREASURE HOX UNVEILED
BY Frank Millard
Yesterday the Sherriff’s Department working with detectives from the city police discovered three bodies buried on the beach where a treasure map supposedly penned by the pirate Edward Teach, more commonly known as Blackbeard, showed where the pirate supposedly buried a treasure. The treasure map had played prominently in the kidnapping of the two-year-old daughter of a well know curio shop owner. The map, valued at $7.99 in the shop’s inventory was demanded in ransom for the return of the child. The map was left at a public location and while under surveillance no one saw who retrieved it. The daughter was returned that evening.
Detective claims they were following up to close all aspects of the case when they used the treasure map to attempt to locate the treasure. Without notifying the Sherriff’s Department, whose jurisdiction, the map covered, the detectives followed the amp and discovered the body of a local character, Old Jim Farthing, 59 who has no known address, had been missing for over 30 days. No one, however, noticed he was missing until his body was found. The Medical Examiner attributes Old Jim Farthing to the man having crawled into a depression in the sand to sleep only to have rogue wave action fill in the depression while he was in it. The Medical Eliminator ruled Old Jim Farthing’s death was by asphyxiation. “We found sand and sea water in his lungs.”
The detectives called the Sherriff’s Department for a crime scene unit. The Sherriff’s Department took over the investigation of Old Jim Farthing’s death. The detectives moved their treasure hunt several hundred yards down the coast. In the process, for some reason unknown to this reporter, Sherriff Hoard operated the detective’s ground piercing radar unit and discovered two more bodies and a mass of material the detectives claimed was one of Blackbeard’s buried treasures. The treasure turned out to be rusted scrap metal: horseshoes, auto, Motorcycle and bicycle parts with a few bed springs all rusted into a mass. An analysis of the metal in the ‘treasure hoard’ showed the material was less the 25 years old.
The bodies discovered were analyzed and found to be 300 years old. However, the bodies were shot with 45 caliber ACP ammunition—thoroughly modern. Autopsies on the two showed the modern ammunition slugs embedded in the bodies were post mortem by about 275 years.
Police have arrested two brothers, Wilbur, 25, and Walter Seams, 25, for both the kidnapping and the dead bodies that the Murderous wizard dumped on 38th Street. This reporter has talked to the Seams Brother’s sweet mother, 64, who reports Police harassment of her sons and even the police invasion of her kitchen which resulted in a shotgun blast making a hole in her ceiling. Mrs. Seams adamantly claims her boys are being targeted in cases where the police do not have a clue simply. Because of a misunderstanding over some auto parts in the past. Mrs. Seams fears these new bodies will be pinned on her two boys as the same law enforcement people who pinned that other stuff on my poor boys.

As any of my intelligent readers will conclude, this is a hoax. Further that the authorities in an attempt to close two cases have arrested to hapless victims of police harassment for the crimes. Authorities are not talking about the hoax. They are not talking about the arrests. They are as tight lipped about this hoax as they were about the bodies showing up out of thin air that this reporter reported about earlier in what should be called the “Case of the Murderous Wizard.” There is something clearly going on in the detective squad that merits unearthing. Indeed, one other fact, that has gone unnoticed until this reporter unearthed it is that the head of Child Protective Services, Edith Gunderson, has been intimately involved in both investigations. We have to ask why?

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About democratizemoney

Retired University Professor
This entry was posted in fiction, gardening in pots, political, weather and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Chit Chat & 043 Enquirer News Article

  1. Well we can’t accuse him of ‘fake news’ but he’s a pesky meddler!
    What is thistle water??

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. As I recall someone told me to take a thistle., soak it for a couple of weeks in a bucket of water, then use the result as a pesticide on my fruit tree. Did I get it wrong?
      I am not sure why Frank popped up again. Could he have a pipeline to the dark side?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. beetleypete says:

    Poor Edith got involved in the article too. She will be facing some awkward questions!
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Eddy Winko says:

    That would be nettles:) Love the newspaper report and looking forward to catching up, especially now I know that I will be able to read it to completion.

    Like

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