Good Morning Ted and Jody:
Yesterday the weatherperson on one of the Portland channels let slip that today would be more like March or November. He wasn’t sure which. There is a clear distinction between March and November. March is all about bluster and rain whereas November is more characterized by rain and bluster. Given his inability to distinguish between March and November I think his credential should be reexamined or he needs to be retrained on his interpretation of goat entrails and tea leaves. Since the rain came before the bluster, today is firmly in November. Friday or Saturday, the weather person was not at all clear about which, we will have a mid-May day and then for Father’s Day, June will Bust Out All Over. Regardless all this fooling around with the wrong month is retarding the ripening of my blueberries. I think I am going to have to file a formal complaint with the White House for the arbitrary forecasts of late. Clearly, the weather people are losing focus on truth and that can only come from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and the model set by the tweeter in chief. Bad weather forecasts are not good for America. Very Sad.
I mailed you a copy of Sapiens on Monday, Ted. I lost the tracking number so, (actually In know where I left it and can only deduce that Nancy decided to clean that surface and mistook it for a piece of scrap paper—there is just no telling when she will get it in her head to make a clean) I can’t tell you where the book is in the mail stream. Since it is traveling Media Mail instead of Priority Mail or Standard Mail or First Class, they may decide to read it in route. Then generally slows down delivery. You will know if this is the case as there will be chocolate fingerprints on the pages. It is a little-known fact that the postal service requires its employees to eat chocolate that doesn’t melt in your mouth but melts on your hands.
I trust this finds you in the best of health-physically, mentally, spiritually and financially.
Warmest regards, Ed
050 An Explanation, Finally
Fiction in 629 words by T. Edward Westen, 2017
Agent White, Special Agent Fleishman, and Outreach Agent Simmons materialized on a footpath leading to a cottage. Agent White said, “Special Agent if you go to the left and Outreach Agent if you go to the right, we may cut off any physical exit. If my guess is correct, we will find the woman behind the hologram in that cottage or in the immediate vicinity.”
Both men nodded and headed off to encircle the cottage. Agent White took the path and walked to the front door. Raising her hand to knock, the door opened to reveal Col. George Blackwell. “I see you have brought reinforcements this time,” pointing to the two figures flanking his cottage, “Agent White. But, you are making a mistake; for I am not your man.”
“Yes, Sir. I know you are not the person we seek,” replied Agent White. “I have . . . “
Agent White was interrupted by Special Agent Fleishman coming from the side yard with Julia Blackwell firmly in his grip. “Look who I found,” Special Agent Fleishman said. The Special Agent turned and called over his shoulder “Johnathon, we have her.”
Col. George Blackwell took a step toward Special Agent Fleishman saying, “Unhand my wife, Sir or you will feel the sting of my . . .”
Julia Blackwell interrupted him, “George, do not interfere. I fear they have caught me.”
Col. Blackwell stopped in his tracks, “Caught you? Caught you doing what?”
“The simplest explanation is I was having adventures, George,” Julia Blackwell said. “For thirty years, George, you came back from what you called missions all flushed and excited. After a few days at home, you were bored and eager to go back for more adventure or danger. For most of those years, I thought I was not giving you enough and that those missions were my competition. When you retired you started writing about your missions and made a success of publishing those stories, but you write eight to ten hours a day reliving your adventures and you might as well be away from me. So, some time back I decided to make my own adventures and see what I had been missing while I waited for you. I found it a challenge to outwit the ATI. I became alive for the first time when I discovered some discarded cryogenic clients and answered an advertisement a Mr. Edison posted for bodies. I recruited two brothers from the early 21st Century to do the heavy lifting and proceeded to cause a bit of mayhem.”
While Julia Blackwell was telling her husband what she had done and why she had done it, Outreach Agent Simmons had disappeared and reappeared with a syringe. He nudged Special Agent Fleishman, brandishing the syringe and Special Agent Fleishman raised Julia Blackwell’s arm. Outreach Agent Simmons administered the removal of Julia Blackwell’s time travel implant. This interrupted Julia’s explanation and her husband asked, “How did you manage to get a time travel implant?”
“Do you remember that cruise I asked you to go on?” asked Julia.
The Col. nodded.
“Then you remember you didn’t want to go,” replied his wife.
“But that was a cruise for people who watch birds,” replied Col. Blackwell.
“Unfortunately, that cruise was the last straw,” said Julia Blackwell. I used that week to go home and do the five nights computer sleep training and got my injections then. First, I did the temp for a few days and they got the permanent one. It took the same time as the cruise and you know, I came back in a nanosecond after I left and did the cruise too. As you know George, when you travel in time you can be away for a week, month or even a year and yet come back in a Nano-second after you left. You chose to come back in real time after you left on your missions. You kept me waiting too long.”.