Raccoon, News, Blueberries & 021 Agent White Follows the Money -Two Years Before the Present

Good Morning Ted and Jody:

I got up around 3:15 this morning to check my blood sugar. After I found out I was still alive I went to the back door and switched on the porch lights and discovered a visitor. We see raccoon here, but largely as road kill. They tend to hit the roads the same time the taverns close.  20170709_032222 email.jpgI am guessing this fellow likes bird seed as he was going through the cedar chips when I switched on the lights and that is where the birdseed from the feeders and my broadcasting some ends up. The raccoon did not give ground to the light, so I turned them off and let him or her continue its bird seed hunt. I probably ruined his or her night vision for a good twenty minutes.

I decided to take a nap and reconvene “awakeness” until around 7 when I got up and made a toasted salami and Swiss cheese sandwich on dill rye with mustard and dill pickles. That gave me time to do the next round of blood testing and injecting, take my morning meds, all 3,333 of them, and get ready to watch Reliable Sources on CNN while riding to nowhere as quickly as possible.

To summarize the information I extracted from Reliable Sources (not what they actually presented) is first if you tell someone something often enough, they will eventually accept it as true—the fake news the pestilence keeps accusing the media of presenting. Second, that there seems to be a big chunk of our fellow citizens who actually like what the pestilence says he is doing regardless of the evidence of what he is doing. And third, the media is finally figuring out that covering the pestilence’s tweets are not covering the news, but undercutting the media’s veracity. I did say I was getting nowhere fast, didn’t I?

In an attempt to recover from my encounter with the news, I went out on the front porch and picked blueberries. This was my first blueberry picking session where I used a container other than my mouth.20170709_093000 email.jpg Consequently, some of them are just a tad bit shy of ripe. Nonetheless, when embedded in a pie one will never know they are eating juvenile blueberries.

I am attaching a random shot of the flower of a weed growing in the mulberry bush planter.20170702_114910 c ns email p.jpg

Warmest regards, Ed

021 Agent White Follows the Money -Two Years Before the Present

Fiction in 1168 words by T. Edward Westen

Agent White stopped in her tracks. She slowly turned and said, “Your have me at a disadvantage, Sir.” She looked him up and down and said, I don’t recall ever seeing you before.”

“You wouldn’t have as I was sitting in the car,” He said pointing to the SUV. “But, I saw you come out of two banks a few minutes after my associate went in. This bank will make the third. You didn’t go to a vehicle, yet you seem to be one step ahead of us. How is that possible?

“The vehicle you are driving has interesting license plates,” replied Agent White. “If you look closely, you will find that the year tabs won’t be issued for a few years and the plates themselves for a few years after that. I wonder how that is possible?”

The man looked at the SUV, squinted, held his hand over his eyes to shade sun glare and said, “How in the hell can you see that from here?”

“You want to know how I can be,” said Agent White, “how did you phrase it, one step ahead of you. It seems to me the real question is since you know where I have been, why are you following me?”

“I, I, I,” stuttered the man.

But before the man could compose his thought, the man who filled out the deposit slips in the three banks came out of the bank and interrupted the man. “Ralph, introduce me to your friend.”

Agent White stuck out her hand and said, “Amanda. And you are?

“Bart. I’m Bartholomew Wilson. How do you know Ralph?

“This is the first time I ever saw him,” replied Agent White. “I think he is stalking me.”

Bart turned to Ralph and said with a puzzled look on his face, “Why are you stalking her? I thought you were gay.”

“Man, she is blowing smoke at you,” replied Ralph. “She was in all three banks this morning I got her coming out this time. She came out a few minutes after you went in. Didn’t you see her in there?”

“I went in, filled out the forms, and made the deposits, ” Bart said. “I didn’t go in to scope out the dollies, man.. Never mix business with pleasure. That can get one killed.”

“Not paying attention to your surroundings will get you killed faster,”  asserted Ralph. You should have noticed she was in the 2nd bank for heaven’s sake and by this one you should have been going steady with her. She is somehow anticipating our every move,” “I think she is spying on us.” Ralph turned to Agent White and demanded, “Who do you work for Lady?”

Agent White smiled and said, “That’s right, Ralph. We haven’t been introduced. I am Amanda. And since I got here first, you are following me. So who do you work for Buddy?”

Bart interjected, “His name is Ralph. That is all, just Ralph. Where he comes from they only have one name. I work for Sal . . .”

“SHUT UP YOU DIMWITTED FOOL,” shouted Ralph. “SHE . . .”

Bart put his hand on Ralph’s shoulder and pointed towards the SUV with his other hand where a policeman was writing a ticket.

“I told you in this berg they ticket vehicles left unattended in front of banks,” said, Bart. “That’s the way; you got to stay in them so you can move when the cops come. It is not like we are robbing the bank and need a quick getaway. Sheeeesh.”

Pointing to the cop, Ralph said, “He is not as big a problem as she is,” pointing to Agent White. “She is on to something, I don’t know what, but she can cause more trouble than that stupid cop can.”

The Policeman stopped writing and went back to his squad car, reached in, retrieved the microphone for his car radio and looked around while he talked on the radio.

Agent White said, “I think he noticed your impossible plates.” She paused, then added, “I wonder if he will notice your SUV hasn’t been made yet?”

As the three watched the policeman put the microphone back, walked to the front of the SUV,  leaned on the hood and peered at the lower part of the driver side windshield. Agent White smiled broadly and said, “I do believe he has tumbled to that little anomaly about your SUV not having been made yet. Go figure? “

“What are we going to do, Ralph,” a panicky Bart whimpered. “The rest of the money is in the SUV. Now that the cops are on to us, what do we do?”

“This is no biggie,” replied Ralph. “You,” he said pointing to Agent White, “we will deal with later. Now try to get ahead of us?” Ralph and Bart vanished.

Agent White laughed out-loud. ‘So you want to play, do you Ralph?’ she thought. She watched as the SUV dissolved into thin air. The policeman still leaning on the hood tumbled forward onto the asphalt. He looked at his ticket book, shook his head, got up looked around him and showed every sign of confusion. He got in his squad car and drove away.

Amanda White thought, ‘Do I play or do I got for reinforcements?’ She pivoted.

                                           [Present Day] Agent White materialized in the stairwell of police headquarters. She looked around at the small space and rhetorically asked out-loud, “I wonder why we target such a confined area for our arrivals?

A voice answered, “Because no one loiters here and people going through are moving quickly, either in a hurry to get back so they can get home on time or out to a crime scene. It is less likely we will run into someone then if we arrived in a more open area. Interesting paradox, don’t you think?

Agent White turned to see Outreach Agent Simmons. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Outreach Agent Simmons handed her a piece of paper and said, “That SUV you were tracking changed its whole itinerary just now. I suspect it even disappeared from the impound where the lab left it. I thought you might want this updated version of where it went. It seemed to go to all of the same places except in a different order and then they abandoned it in a different time segment.”

Agent White said, “It looks like Ralph will be a bit frustrated if I show up despite his attempt to shake me.” She handed the SUV revised itinerary to Outreach Agent Simmons and said, “Give this to Special Agent Fleishman while the two of you have a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows on it with Ms. Gunderson. Then tell him to catch up with me at the first change in their itinerary at a five-minute lag.”

“What a good idea to have hot chocolate with Edith and Anderson,” replied Outreach Agent Simmons, but Agent White had pivoted and did not hear his reply.



About democratizemoney

Retired University Professor
This entry was posted in fiction, gardening in pots, political, wildlife and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Raccoon, News, Blueberries & 021 Agent White Follows the Money -Two Years Before the Present

  1. beetleypete says:

    Lucky it it hot and humid here today, which makes me not want a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows.
    I think I would be very excited to see a raccoon on our back patio. However, that is unlikely to happen. Not just because Raccoons are not found in the UK, but also because I would not be getting up at that unearthly hour to discover it. 🙂
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s a lot of earth and unearth in this comment thread, wonder if unearth it heaven or hell?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Eddy Winko says:

    Thankfully the only unearthing going on around her is that of potatoes!

    Liked by 1 person

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