The other day I re-blogged a post from a foster child:https://ainexperiences.wordpress.com/
a day or later I got a follow from another former foster child. Her site and writings are well worth a visit. Here is one of her posts: https://americadefleur.com/2019/08/24/fun-fact-17/
Like a lot of things in our society and culture, foster care needs more attention and resources. Indeed, we all need to pay more attention to how it is managed and how children are raised by this system not to mention how children are raised by natural parents. I remember a time when the common wisdom was that it takes a village to raise a child.
My late son, Kirk, and I used to respond to questions about how to raise a child by referring to the “Father’s Manual” (the one no one gave us when our children were born). Somehow from remembering what our parents did, watching others parent, even extrapolating from fictional accounts (television, books and the like), and just by guessing, we were supposed to figure out how to handle situations as our children presented those situations to us: injuries, swearing, sharing, hurt feelings, maturation issues, beliefs, values, and the list goes on. Then too, sometimes our spouse or other relatives would create situations that also needed to be handled for the sake of the child. While I am sure some would argue that the various ways parents handle situations presented by children as they grow and learn, I am equally sure, some of those ways are harmful to children.
I generally look to larger issues in society to find areas where we might present a village with common values in which to raise our children. Three that come to mind in today’s set of circumstances are racism (equality), charity (sharing), and honesty (empirical fact sets). While I do know people who were raised by racists who eschewed that and accept others as equal, I know far more who were so raised and while they do not think they are racists, they are at least behaving as if they are. While I know people who were raised by sharing, even philanthropic parents, they themselves are not. And while I know people who are pathological liars their children may or may not be. So, I know it is not easy to address the problems that parents, including foster parents, have and do or do not pass on those problems to the children that they raise. Nonetheless, I still think looking to larger societal problems is one way to narrow into a discourse on how to parent (raise children).
I wish I had some answers.
Nancy sends her love. Stay safe and healthy. Love Ed
PS rain again today, so here is an image from earlier times.